finally nagawa ko din. i made peace with somebody.
somebody who used to be very especial. lahat ng tanong sa utak ko nasagot na. i never imagine the result to be this way. stupidity na kung stupidity yung ginawa ko pero kasi ang tagal ko ng iniisip kung ggwin ko ba o hindi, until knina hnd sinsadyang nakita kong OL sya, at ayun na. piniem ko n lang sya bigla.
and the results was great. atlis ngaun diba kahit my regrets p din, eh okay lang. kasi wla ng tanong. okay na. at naging conclusion nmin prehas? siguro we’re not really for each other. kasi everytime na mgiging close kme, fate makes a way na maghiwlay din kme e. after ng maraming trials tlga hindi kme “PERFECT MATCH”.. eto na din siguro ang nagagawa ng spirit of christmass. :)
atlis now, okay n kme. masya sa lovelife nya. ako nmn kahit single, eh masaya din nmn. hindi pa ulit tumitibok ng bongga yung puso ko tulad ng dati pero i’ll just see and wait for 2011. anu nanaman kayang exciting na mga bagay ang mraranasan ko? sinung mga bagong tao ang makilala ko?:)
Monday, December 20, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
love.pagmamahal.amor.
when you love a person, you are willing to give the person more than you could. when it comes to him/her, your patience is undeniably looong. you can forgive all his/her shortcomings, mistakes and you accept him/her as a whole. ‘cause they say, when you love someone, you are already loving the whole package. with all the good and the baaaaad stufffs!!!
kaya sobrang nauunawaan naman na kahit na alam mo na lahat ng kalokohan n’yang taong sinasabi mong mahal mo, eh pinapatawad mo pa din s’ya ng paulit-ulit. naiintindihan ko yun. kahit na napapahiya na lang din ako na sinabi ko pa sa’yo yung kasalanan n’ya e sayo pala wala din dating yun. haha. ang funny lang. okay lng naman kasi talaga kasi kaibigan lang namn ako, nakasuporta kung san ka masaya. and its genuine y’know? pero syempre kaibigan mo pa din ako, di maalis na protective ako sa’yo. pero i make sure nmn n sakto lang. kasi at the end, it still you life. YOURS ALONE. ampangit lang minsan (kahit alam kong di mo sinasadya) napapalabas mo na kontrabida na lang ako sa buhay niong nagmamahalan. tsk. pero sige naintidihan ko pa din.
pahabaan na lang ng pasensyaaa. no? pero sa palagay ko talo ko pagdating sa bagay na yaaan. wwwowoooo.
this is a late night-slash-early dawn drama. hoho.
GOODNIGHT everyone. 2;54 am!
kaya sobrang nauunawaan naman na kahit na alam mo na lahat ng kalokohan n’yang taong sinasabi mong mahal mo, eh pinapatawad mo pa din s’ya ng paulit-ulit. naiintindihan ko yun. kahit na napapahiya na lang din ako na sinabi ko pa sa’yo yung kasalanan n’ya e sayo pala wala din dating yun. haha. ang funny lang. okay lng naman kasi talaga kasi kaibigan lang namn ako, nakasuporta kung san ka masaya. and its genuine y’know? pero syempre kaibigan mo pa din ako, di maalis na protective ako sa’yo. pero i make sure nmn n sakto lang. kasi at the end, it still you life. YOURS ALONE. ampangit lang minsan (kahit alam kong di mo sinasadya) napapalabas mo na kontrabida na lang ako sa buhay niong nagmamahalan. tsk. pero sige naintidihan ko pa din.
pahabaan na lang ng pasensyaaa. no? pero sa palagay ko talo ko pagdating sa bagay na yaaan. wwwowoooo.
this is a late night-slash-early dawn drama. hoho.
GOODNIGHT everyone. 2;54 am!
ten pesos!
Life is not really fair.
I was watching “the correspondents” final episode last-last week. The episode was about all the people that had a huge change in their life ever since “the correspondence” featured their life story. It doesn’t caught much of my attention until it featured the story of “araal kids”… and then suddenly my tears fell. The story was about these kids up there in the mountain aging 6-10 years old, that instead of going to school was forced to work in those mining fields. Gather all the araal stones they can and bring them down in the mountains, under the heat of the sun, and with bare feet, just for ten pesos a day. And they have to do go up and down there for 6-8 times before having that ten pesos! Damn!
Their parents don’t like what’s happening but they don’t have the choice. It’s a matter of going through every day with something to eat. Good thing the show have already changed their lives, now those children are going to school.
But I had a big realization with that. I know life is hard. It’s always is. And whatever I, or we do… it will always be unfair. See, the ten pesos that we’re just wasting for nonsense things, for them… it’s an amount to keep them alive. And we are all here in front of the pc, having the time of lives for all the good things, spending our energy and money with vices… what a shame.
I know after writing this thoughts, still, I can’t promise to entirely change my whole life. But after writing this, I know I’ll value my life more. I’ll try to lessen all those “fvcking self pity moments” I occasionally had. I’ll be more and always be thankful that I had this kind of life. It’s far from perfection, but I never had to work that hard to get through my every day food. #
I was watching “the correspondents” final episode last-last week. The episode was about all the people that had a huge change in their life ever since “the correspondence” featured their life story. It doesn’t caught much of my attention until it featured the story of “araal kids”… and then suddenly my tears fell. The story was about these kids up there in the mountain aging 6-10 years old, that instead of going to school was forced to work in those mining fields. Gather all the araal stones they can and bring them down in the mountains, under the heat of the sun, and with bare feet, just for ten pesos a day. And they have to do go up and down there for 6-8 times before having that ten pesos! Damn!
Their parents don’t like what’s happening but they don’t have the choice. It’s a matter of going through every day with something to eat. Good thing the show have already changed their lives, now those children are going to school.
But I had a big realization with that. I know life is hard. It’s always is. And whatever I, or we do… it will always be unfair. See, the ten pesos that we’re just wasting for nonsense things, for them… it’s an amount to keep them alive. And we are all here in front of the pc, having the time of lives for all the good things, spending our energy and money with vices… what a shame.
I know after writing this thoughts, still, I can’t promise to entirely change my whole life. But after writing this, I know I’ll value my life more. I’ll try to lessen all those “fvcking self pity moments” I occasionally had. I’ll be more and always be thankful that I had this kind of life. It’s far from perfection, but I never had to work that hard to get through my every day food. #
SINGLEHOOD
“SINGLE isn’t a status. It’s a word describing a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.”
I had a blog months ago, about singlehood, about a choice to stay single until I finish college. And during those moments in my life, I was so sure that’s what I wanted. You can’t blame me, I was enjoying every second of my life with all my single friends, and I’m having the time of my life. And I think that having a boyfriends isn’t suited for the kind of lifestyle I have. There are few guys whose trying to cling in my fast phased life and I appreciate them but there still weren’t enough reasons to enter into a relationship until recently I felt being left out.
My environment slowly changes, all my “single” friends suddenly found their match. And I swear, I understand them but pathetic as it sounds, I suddenly feel pressured with finding MY match, a partner, someone whom I can have sweet talks and do all those mushy stuffs.
But how about my “self-deal”? And the feeling was rush. It was like, all of a sudden I wanted to give someone a chance in my life, that out of the blue I wanted to be in love. But how I wish it was just that simple. But it isn’t, right?
I can’t suddenly be in love after just deciding that that’s the emotion I wanted to feel. It’s not like that, it will never be “just like that”. Good thing I wasn’t really the “decision-maker” type. So I’ve given the feeling a thought. I’ve talked to a friend and now it’s all clear.
And here’s my realization, It’s all pressure. That after all I still want to stay single, that I don’t need someone to be happier. That if ever I had jump into a relationship, it will never be genuine. That even all my friends have their someone, they won’t leave me behind. That I am happy with myself and that someday someone out there will make me believe in love again without me knowing it beforehand. That my destiny is just waiting to be unfold. And that now my fate is to finish my studies. #
Ps. But that doesn’t stop me from posting pictures, blogs, videos about love. Okay?:)))
I had a blog months ago, about singlehood, about a choice to stay single until I finish college. And during those moments in my life, I was so sure that’s what I wanted. You can’t blame me, I was enjoying every second of my life with all my single friends, and I’m having the time of my life. And I think that having a boyfriends isn’t suited for the kind of lifestyle I have. There are few guys whose trying to cling in my fast phased life and I appreciate them but there still weren’t enough reasons to enter into a relationship until recently I felt being left out.
My environment slowly changes, all my “single” friends suddenly found their match. And I swear, I understand them but pathetic as it sounds, I suddenly feel pressured with finding MY match, a partner, someone whom I can have sweet talks and do all those mushy stuffs.
But how about my “self-deal”? And the feeling was rush. It was like, all of a sudden I wanted to give someone a chance in my life, that out of the blue I wanted to be in love. But how I wish it was just that simple. But it isn’t, right?
I can’t suddenly be in love after just deciding that that’s the emotion I wanted to feel. It’s not like that, it will never be “just like that”. Good thing I wasn’t really the “decision-maker” type. So I’ve given the feeling a thought. I’ve talked to a friend and now it’s all clear.
And here’s my realization, It’s all pressure. That after all I still want to stay single, that I don’t need someone to be happier. That if ever I had jump into a relationship, it will never be genuine. That even all my friends have their someone, they won’t leave me behind. That I am happy with myself and that someday someone out there will make me believe in love again without me knowing it beforehand. That my destiny is just waiting to be unfold. And that now my fate is to finish my studies. #
Ps. But that doesn’t stop me from posting pictures, blogs, videos about love. Okay?:)))
...
I love people. It makes me feel good to be around them. I love to make friends .. and for my 18 years of existence I think I’ve earned a lot to last till my next life time. It may sounds exaggerated but believe me or not, it’s the truth. I’m writing this down not to brag about that but to explain that I may be everybody's friend but I can’t and never will be a ‘good’ friend to everyone. It’s my personality to try to be good to every stranger but I also have the tendency to be at my best and show my worst only to a few great friends I have. Oh, see? I used the term great ‘cause I may call everyone my “best” friend, but I think I can never measure who among them is the good, better or best for me ‘cause everyone is great in their own way. And every friendship I have is different from the other, no one among my friendships will be the same. Because for every friendship, I put a different effort, a different thought, a special feelings, and both of us make memories different to others.
Oh, how I love to make those few great friends smile, feel loved and treasured. <3
And how I hate the feeling deep inside that there are some people whom I have unintentionally taken for granted, and that’s what I’m talking about on how I can never give my best part to every friendship I have. I am sorry. The main reason for making this blog.
If I can only give a piece of me to everyone. If only, I’d gladly do so. I made this public, yeah. But really, this is not intended for them to read. #
Oh, how I love to make those few great friends smile, feel loved and treasured. <3
And how I hate the feeling deep inside that there are some people whom I have unintentionally taken for granted, and that’s what I’m talking about on how I can never give my best part to every friendship I have. I am sorry. The main reason for making this blog.
If I can only give a piece of me to everyone. If only, I’d gladly do so. I made this public, yeah. But really, this is not intended for them to read. #
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
and for the longest time since we fall apart, this is gonna be the first time, i will bravely admit in public that i do, miss this guy.
he is my best-guy-friend ever. as in a friend. just a very close friend with no malice and i don’t know if i’ll ever have a friendship with an opposite sex, this close, again. he is so much like a brother to me. someone i can be with all day and all night and still have so much to talk about. and still we would have long conversations thru texts… we can do and talk about silly things and never get offended. we play, go out together, drink together, we argue a lot, but we have accepted everything about each other, we’re there for each other through our greatest down fall and during the best moments in each others life…until the day both of us got tired.
im can’t blame him for everything i got through, for the way we ended up ‘cause i know i also did a lot for us to be like this. No more text, long talks, plays and all..it’s as if we never had the “best” friendship moments in the past. how sad it was right? He’s at fault, im at fault. We’re both at fault. and i guess we have not given our best in making things right between us…sigh.
And i think, maybe , just maybe this is the way some things end. :(
Junior year. 2010.
finally, i’ll be blogging about this. yeah. THIS.
time sure flies when you’re having fun. it’s like one day i woke up and then there, i had 2 and half years of college behind me. and thinking about everything i had during those years, well, it was priceless. all the things, all the experiences, all the pains, happiness, every emotion… and all the people, whether they’re still in my life right at this moment or gone. they were so much a part of me. tho they pass by so FAST. hoho. TO THEM, i am thankful.
so lets go back to THIS. to now. i had a great sem btw. super enjoy, had so much trips, fun and friends and i would like to keep them all in my life. this was my most productive sem, ever since i started college. but when i saw my grades a while ago, i can say that in the last 6 semester [including summer practicals], this is the worst set of grades i got. i felt sad.
but after letting the disappointing emotions out, and had a few chats with my friends. i suddenly felt okay. NO REGRETS after all. ‘cause, i had a blast this sem. :)) and 2010 is doing a great job in making itself one of the most remarkable year in my 18 years of existence. and i know for a long time, it will be. super CHUBBY ng year na ‘to. tho there’s still a lot of “not-so-good” memories, it’s still one heck of a year. and i still got two months to make it worthwhile. ♥
Sunday, October 3, 2010
what is love??
love? love is patient. love does not ask anything in return and is not boastful. love is life. and love is the beautiful people around me. :)
WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
my being short tempered. yeah. thats it. not everyone can understand that its just me. but after a little while, all my anger were easily gone.
Friday, September 10, 2010
If you could change one thing that happened last year what would it be?
the day i let a man walk in my life, again.
Friday, July 30, 2010
life under pressure
its almost two months since my last entry. I've just been so preoccupied with all the stuffs happening in my life for the past weeks. life's is giving me too much "short-lived" happiness and a lot of shit. you know? sometimes i can't take it.
but well, im still pushing myself to take everything on a positive note. but i can't do that all the time. and its normal right? there are times when i feel so down. that my life seems to be the most imperfect thing that have existed. Holy $&@T!
but im still doing good. i just needed an outlet like this. and besides this is why this blog of mine is here. ill try my best to activate this one, again.
God Bless ME! :>
but well, im still pushing myself to take everything on a positive note. but i can't do that all the time. and its normal right? there are times when i feel so down. that my life seems to be the most imperfect thing that have existed. Holy $&@T!
but im still doing good. i just needed an outlet like this. and besides this is why this blog of mine is here. ill try my best to activate this one, again.
God Bless ME! :>
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
trashed.
this is nonsense. haha. so just ignore it. i just need this. for an outlet you know?
its just that for the past few days, i feel trashed. i feel shit. like im the worst person in the world. my world turn UPSIDE DOWN, it was the most stressful days of my life. but i bear with the pain, with the clueless scenario that i am in. im feeling a loser already for the cold treatment and for their actions towards me, ignoring me like i don't exist. so what shall i do? i let them see im strong. that i can still handle the loss.
but after 4 days and 48 hours.. i know i can't take it anymore. i cried a river. i drunk a lot. i blab a lot. they are a part of me. they are important to me. i love them. i'm not mad or anything. i can't be. but with the messages i received, im getting hopeless, hopeless for a second chance, and hopeless that it will ever be the way it was before.. i don't know what to do, so i leave everything to You my Lord.
thank you.
its just that for the past few days, i feel trashed. i feel shit. like im the worst person in the world. my world turn UPSIDE DOWN, it was the most stressful days of my life. but i bear with the pain, with the clueless scenario that i am in. im feeling a loser already for the cold treatment and for their actions towards me, ignoring me like i don't exist. so what shall i do? i let them see im strong. that i can still handle the loss.
but after 4 days and 48 hours.. i know i can't take it anymore. i cried a river. i drunk a lot. i blab a lot. they are a part of me. they are important to me. i love them. i'm not mad or anything. i can't be. but with the messages i received, im getting hopeless, hopeless for a second chance, and hopeless that it will ever be the way it was before.. i don't know what to do, so i leave everything to You my Lord.
thank you.
Monday, May 24, 2010
random ideas...tss.
this blog is just about anything inside my f*cking head, ugh. i had a bad ending at a good day thats why. =/
*not because you're there when he/she needs you,
gives you the assurance that she'll be there when it's already your turn.
*Death is about wishing you did something more in your life.
*what you see is not always what you get.
*even the strongest person have fears.
*CHANGE. it's something we have to make once in a while.
*every important person in our life now were once a stranger,
so it's never difficult for them to be a stranger again.
*real friendship was never instant. you must first undergo a trial to make it strong.
the emo writings are mine. whatever. pfft.
*not because you're there when he/she needs you,
gives you the assurance that she'll be there when it's already your turn.
*Death is about wishing you did something more in your life.
*what you see is not always what you get.
*even the strongest person have fears.
*CHANGE. it's something we have to make once in a while.
*every important person in our life now were once a stranger,
so it's never difficult for them to be a stranger again.
*real friendship was never instant. you must first undergo a trial to make it strong.
the emo writings are mine. whatever. pfft.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
SUMMER 2010
im back. woots!
summer 2010 is getting wild and crazier everyday. Ha-ha! this is my best summer. ever.
so productive and so full of fun. i know its not yet over, so i'm still living my summer to the fullest.
i did a lot of changes to myself and i'm gaining a lot of weight and getting lazier with the house hold chores. boo. but i've been to a lot of places this summer, making every day count. i love it.
the bad thing about this summer is that i never kept a single cent for long. capital BOO. hahah! but at the end of the day what matter most is that i enjoyed it, i had new experiences and memories to keep. i love this life, how i wish this would never end but as the day passes by, i know i have to face school again.
i had also gain new friends, for keeps. ♥
i still have two weeks to enjoy gonna tell new stories soon.
.off.
summer 2010 is getting wild and crazier everyday. Ha-ha! this is my best summer. ever.
so productive and so full of fun. i know its not yet over, so i'm still living my summer to the fullest.
i did a lot of changes to myself and i'm gaining a lot of weight and getting lazier with the house hold chores. boo. but i've been to a lot of places this summer, making every day count. i love it.
the bad thing about this summer is that i never kept a single cent for long. capital BOO. hahah! but at the end of the day what matter most is that i enjoyed it, i had new experiences and memories to keep. i love this life, how i wish this would never end but as the day passes by, i know i have to face school again.
i had also gain new friends, for keeps. ♥
i still have two weeks to enjoy gonna tell new stories soon.
.off.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
ELECTION day.
hindi pa ko botante pero lahat ng hirap na dadanasin ng isang botanten naranasan ko.. gumising ako ng 5am, umalis ng 6 am, kakauwi lang ngayon and its past 10.. kung nagkataon pa na hindi natulungan si mommy ng pagiging guro niya dun sa school na pinagbotohan niya, siguro 1 pm pa siya makakaboto.. una nakipagsisikan para mahanap sa list ang pangalan, pumila para makapasok siya sa waiting area, nainitan ng bongga, at NAINIP! pwera yung mismong pagboto hindi ko naranasan, bata pa kasi. :)) .. SALUDO ko sa mga matyatyagang bomoboto. grabei!! kasi nung nagsisimula akong pumila sabe ko “hindi na lang ako mgreregister sa susunod kahit pa pwede na ko”, ang hirap kasi, pero bago maapos ang process bigla kong naisip excited na ko gawin ung RIGHT at TUNGKULIN ko na yun. it was amazing to be a part of a history. the future of the Philippines will now change. God bless us all.^_^ after 9 years, the leadership will change. bagong pamamalakad. sana maging maayos ang lahat. i pray. :)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
someone for keeps
it feels so great when you have someone you can talk to about just anything under the sun. it can be your random thoughts or events in your life...just about anything you wish to say or issues you want to argue with each other. seems like you'll never run out of things to chat with, but then if you suddenly feel like enjoying the silence you can still count on to this person.
you can play, sing, weep and even pray with her/him. you can do anything with that person and your relationship is just so spontaneous. you never have to be on your guard because whatever crazy stuff you do, its okay to her/him. 'cause that person have already accepted you for who you are, all flaws included. and vice-versa.
you may have your own set of friends and at times your world may seem different from each other but then when you two are together, you know you'll never dare to ignore her/him for long. and your life will never be the same without her/him. and most of all, you are looking forward to spend your entire life with that person still in your life. BEST FRIEND FOREVER. TRUE FRIEND FOR KEEPS.
do you think you've already meet your match?
as for me? yes, i have them already. and not just one :D
-mace signing off-
you can play, sing, weep and even pray with her/him. you can do anything with that person and your relationship is just so spontaneous. you never have to be on your guard because whatever crazy stuff you do, its okay to her/him. 'cause that person have already accepted you for who you are, all flaws included. and vice-versa.
you may have your own set of friends and at times your world may seem different from each other but then when you two are together, you know you'll never dare to ignore her/him for long. and your life will never be the same without her/him. and most of all, you are looking forward to spend your entire life with that person still in your life. BEST FRIEND FOREVER. TRUE FRIEND FOR KEEPS.
do you think you've already meet your match?
as for me? yes, i have them already. and not just one :D
-mace signing off-
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
a break from life
wohoo! just 4 days away from going back to reality. Ha-ha! :)
but i came to realize that im loving this time away from school and all, though very short...
it has taken me back to my first love. Reading. it's almost a year since i've read a new novel. and it really feels good. going back to the same old habit of picturing in my mind what is happening in the book... and then falling asleep to rest my eyes and then dream about the continuation. Ha-ha! funny me.Ü
i also love the thought that now i am really practicing the craft i love. writing my thoughts thinking of nothing but just to write it. no rules.
and then im able to spend some time alone. completely just by myself, not even opening my mouth to talk because there's no one to talk to, laying under the tree and appreciating nature and the cold summer wind... then listening to my kind of music with no buzzing sounds of anyone. keeping my place spic&span. relaxing. tho im not really doing a thing (thats according to the people outside my own little world), im never bored. and ohh.. i can say I LOVE this LIFE.
but don't get me wrong, cause i know if i am going to live my whole life like this im going to get bored!! Ha-ha! i'm a night person, i can stay alive all night just please don't wake me up tooooo early. i also love to party, dance and get wasted. i love to chat and be around people. it's just that at some point in my life, it feels good to be peaceful. bow. ^_^
but i came to realize that im loving this time away from school and all, though very short...
it has taken me back to my first love. Reading. it's almost a year since i've read a new novel. and it really feels good. going back to the same old habit of picturing in my mind what is happening in the book... and then falling asleep to rest my eyes and then dream about the continuation. Ha-ha! funny me.Ü
i also love the thought that now i am really practicing the craft i love. writing my thoughts thinking of nothing but just to write it. no rules.
and then im able to spend some time alone. completely just by myself, not even opening my mouth to talk because there's no one to talk to, laying under the tree and appreciating nature and the cold summer wind... then listening to my kind of music with no buzzing sounds of anyone. keeping my place spic&span. relaxing. tho im not really doing a thing (thats according to the people outside my own little world), im never bored. and ohh.. i can say I LOVE this LIFE.
but don't get me wrong, cause i know if i am going to live my whole life like this im going to get bored!! Ha-ha! i'm a night person, i can stay alive all night just please don't wake me up tooooo early. i also love to party, dance and get wasted. i love to chat and be around people. it's just that at some point in my life, it feels good to be peaceful. bow. ^_^
"Facing it all"
"Being happy is not a choice we make but we can do something to be happy." (041809)
i was looking at this notebook (where i keep my thoughts), when i saw this statement i made a year ago and then i was filled with memories. baad memories... but im now over it, thanks to that realization above. and thats when i feel like i want to write something about this.
as stated, happiness is not merely a choice we make for ourself. it is an uncotrollable emotion brought by certain people, things or happenings in our life. if that is so, then we do not controll our whole life alone...'cause life is not all about ME.
so here's the verdict, when someone dissapoints you, when something makes you angry, when someone broke your heart and something depresses you, you cannot just shift emotions.. let alone ignore the feeling, because its undeniably there. you cannot just sit around, continue your life and just decide that after all you are choosing to be happy and expect that its as simple as that. Because a problem not face is a problem not solved.
so whats my point of saying all this? well, i just want you to realize that it is just a matter of facing the problem... of finally admiting that there's a problem and of actually DOING something and of actually DECIDING that you want to be happy but then first you have to heal yourself...and then maybe..maybe finally be able to feel that somehow after all the trouble, you are happy.
i was looking at this notebook (where i keep my thoughts), when i saw this statement i made a year ago and then i was filled with memories. baad memories... but im now over it, thanks to that realization above. and thats when i feel like i want to write something about this.
as stated, happiness is not merely a choice we make for ourself. it is an uncotrollable emotion brought by certain people, things or happenings in our life. if that is so, then we do not controll our whole life alone...'cause life is not all about ME.
so here's the verdict, when someone dissapoints you, when something makes you angry, when someone broke your heart and something depresses you, you cannot just shift emotions.. let alone ignore the feeling, because its undeniably there. you cannot just sit around, continue your life and just decide that after all you are choosing to be happy and expect that its as simple as that. Because a problem not face is a problem not solved.
so whats my point of saying all this? well, i just want you to realize that it is just a matter of facing the problem... of finally admiting that there's a problem and of actually DOING something and of actually DECIDING that you want to be happy but then first you have to heal yourself...and then maybe..maybe finally be able to feel that somehow after all the trouble, you are happy.
Monday, March 29, 2010
blah.blah.blah. Freedom ;>
it's been 9 months since i made this blog. long enough? HAHA! but i haven't really posted something great. pfft.
well, i made this blog because.. uhm well..i love to write though i am not very good at it. i love to express my thoughts in writing because it's a lot different from just saying out loud my ideas. in writing i can erase and edit my choice of words and it is something permanent that after along time i can still look back.
you know, i'm very imaginative... as how things will go and what can i write about, but everytime i put it in paper i just can't seem to organize my thoughts... so, please bear with me... i'm good at making a statement but i don't know why is that when it comes to making a whole essay, baad.
i still have a mile to run before i master this... but i really love this craft. for now, i just want to practice it here. here in my own little world. ;>
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
RE-THINKING LIFE
i used to often wonder when my life would truly begin. some people would say it begins the day i was born, but that’s not what i am talking about; that’s not the beginning i'm referring to.
it’s a strange moment, the beginning. right now i was in my teen years. and i tell you, its not easy. for me, everything is so short. life is short, a day is short, a year seems short once its over, and the future is'nt even in the picture. i worry about my friends, i worry about tomorrow, i worry about him, i worry about the guy i always ride the tricycle with…and its all part of the moment. my entire existence is concentrated on everything around me and everyone i know; its depressing. every lil hurdle seems a mountain, every lil problem seems too hard to deal with, and all the bad things that happen to me sometimes mark the end of my life worth living, maybe until my true life begins.
well…how do i exist? im living a lil world that seems so huge! everythings happening around me is huge. now in a month i’ll be over with my firstyear..but until now, my life has no direction. im stil not sure if im going to finish this course.
now all im thinking of is a that i want a career and how much money im goin’ to make but i really cant decide which is which…im thinking so much about my future but i never knew the future.i have no idea what lies ahead of me.
so…how should i finish this? i’ve once read in a book that you should stop writing when there’s nothing left to say, but i think i’ve got one more thing. i suggest that you make your present first before you can have you future. dont be like me. too futuristic to even settle down with the present. too confused.
"THIS WAS MY BLOG A YEAR A GO. :) -18FEB09-"
it’s a strange moment, the beginning. right now i was in my teen years. and i tell you, its not easy. for me, everything is so short. life is short, a day is short, a year seems short once its over, and the future is'nt even in the picture. i worry about my friends, i worry about tomorrow, i worry about him, i worry about the guy i always ride the tricycle with…and its all part of the moment. my entire existence is concentrated on everything around me and everyone i know; its depressing. every lil hurdle seems a mountain, every lil problem seems too hard to deal with, and all the bad things that happen to me sometimes mark the end of my life worth living, maybe until my true life begins.
well…how do i exist? im living a lil world that seems so huge! everythings happening around me is huge. now in a month i’ll be over with my firstyear..but until now, my life has no direction. im stil not sure if im going to finish this course.
now all im thinking of is a that i want a career and how much money im goin’ to make but i really cant decide which is which…im thinking so much about my future but i never knew the future.i have no idea what lies ahead of me.
so…how should i finish this? i’ve once read in a book that you should stop writing when there’s nothing left to say, but i think i’ve got one more thing. i suggest that you make your present first before you can have you future. dont be like me. too futuristic to even settle down with the present. too confused.
"THIS WAS MY BLOG A YEAR A GO. :) -18FEB09-"
God is Good =)
i had the worst feeling this morning..im in the bus already on the way to makati for my last day of training and examination for the certification of my AMADEUS..then because its too early, i slept for a while then i woke up just in time for the conductor to give the ticket. so i look for my wallet...i can't see it, i remove all my things from my bag..still i can't see it.damn! the conductor is coming..oh shoot! i forgot all my money!! i feel like crying..i really dont know what to do and im in the middle of teh express way! gaddamnit! and i don't have any single cent!! but still as the conductor went near me i continue to look for my wallet, im desperate! and i can't do anything...no one can help me.. T.T so i praay HARD. real hard. and what a miracle, the conductor by pass me..he didn't even ask for my payment..
but im still too far from my destination..so i continue praying that he won't come back to ask me for my payment..and yes, it did happen. whew! God help me. im so sure of it. in return i just pray for the conductor that today may be his lucky day for helping me out. :)
after unloading the bus, im still a kilometer away from LKG tower,. buti n lng msipag ako mglakad. =) i arrive just in time for my class.
kht my misfortune, di nmn NYA ko pinabayaan. so ok pa rin. and now by 1230, ill be taking my exam. God bless me!:)
[mace]
but im still too far from my destination..so i continue praying that he won't come back to ask me for my payment..and yes, it did happen. whew! God help me. im so sure of it. in return i just pray for the conductor that today may be his lucky day for helping me out. :)
after unloading the bus, im still a kilometer away from LKG tower,. buti n lng msipag ako mglakad. =) i arrive just in time for my class.
kht my misfortune, di nmn NYA ko pinabayaan. so ok pa rin. and now by 1230, ill be taking my exam. God bless me!:)
[mace]
Saturday, March 6, 2010
SMILE, friends ;)
i just feel like writing today. months has pass since my last entry.. and i decided to write with that ^ title coz since the start of the year, my day won't end without me smiling heartfully. im just loving my life so much. :))
my desire to make the people around me smile has taken hold of my life. it really feels good when you know you make someones' day a little better. i like being the person my friends know that is just always around in the corner..in time for their trouble, someone they can depend on...and i bet this has always been one of my purpose in life.
with confidence i must say, i am everybodies friend..and tho as the saying says, 'a person who has everybody as a friend has nobody as a true friend.' it does not work for me. cause i maybe everybodies friend but then at the end of the day i always find my way home with the true friends in my life..and then i see them waiting for me, with a big hug..aww..
i got tons of laughter a day and its all because of them. i love them. i treasure them. and so when you find those friends you can keep, take care of them for the rest of your life. it's hard to find someone who can make you smile, laugh and cry..and gets mad at you then hug you and accepts everything about you...
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this writing is somewhat random.i just type what comes into my mind and what i feel now.and thats whats in my heart at this time. HAHAHHAHAHHA! funny. bye :)
my desire to make the people around me smile has taken hold of my life. it really feels good when you know you make someones' day a little better. i like being the person my friends know that is just always around in the corner..in time for their trouble, someone they can depend on...and i bet this has always been one of my purpose in life.
with confidence i must say, i am everybodies friend..and tho as the saying says, 'a person who has everybody as a friend has nobody as a true friend.' it does not work for me. cause i maybe everybodies friend but then at the end of the day i always find my way home with the true friends in my life..and then i see them waiting for me, with a big hug..aww..
i got tons of laughter a day and its all because of them. i love them. i treasure them. and so when you find those friends you can keep, take care of them for the rest of your life. it's hard to find someone who can make you smile, laugh and cry..and gets mad at you then hug you and accepts everything about you...
------
this writing is somewhat random.i just type what comes into my mind and what i feel now.and thats whats in my heart at this time. HAHAHHAHAHHA! funny. bye :)
Friday, January 1, 2010
a love letter from God, TO YOU!
feeling down? let me share to you this letter from God. this letter was formed based on the verses in the bible..i got this from our retreat last March 17, 2008 :D
this was made by the priest who preached us. he was really great. he's a priest but he deliver his sermons to us in a pastors way. too bad i forgot his name but got his signature in the letter. R.Mayk ofmeys (this was according to my understanding)PLEASE DO READ THIS LETTER WITH ALL YOUR HEART ^_^
Dear _______your name__ my beloved (Song of Songs 1:9) CHILD,
I love you (John 15:9) I have called you by name, you are mine (Isaiah 43:1). Before I formed you, I know you. And before you were born, I consecrated you (Jeremiah 1:5). You did not choose me, I choose you (John 15:6).
Because you are precious to me and honored, I love you (Isaiah 43:3). I have loved you with an everlasting love, so I continue to show you my constant love (Jeremiah 31:3). How can I abandon you? (Hosea 11:8). My love for you is strong. And I am faithful forever (Psalm 117:2). Can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore? Yes, even should she forget, I will never forget you – I can never forget you. See, I have written your name on the palm of my hand (Isaiah 49: 15-16). I, the Lord your God, am holding you by the right hand. It is I who say to you, fear not, I will help you (Isaiah 41:13)
Do not be afraid, I have redeemed you (Isaiah 43:1). I am with you (Isaiah 43:5). I am with you to save you (Jeremiah 30:11). And be sure of this, I am with you always until the end of time (Matthew 28:20). Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in me (John 14:1). For I know what my plans for you are, plans to save and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and to give you hope (Jeremiah 29:11). When you call on me, I will listen (Jeremiah 29:12). I will help you (Isaiah 41:14). When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you. Your trouble will not overwhelm you. The hard trials that come will not hurt you (Isaiah 43:2). Do not worry (Luke 12:22). Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So there is no need to be afraid of anything (Matthew 10:30-31). The mountains may depart, and the hills will be shaken, but my steadfast love for you will never end (Isaiah 54:10)
Come, my love (Song of Songs 2:10). Come, I will lead you into solitude, and there, I will speak tenderly to your heart (Hosea 2:16). I will be true and faithful. I will show you my constant love, and make you mine forever; we will be united in love and tenderness (Hosea 2:20-21), I have promised and I will do it (Ezekiel 37:14).
Sincerely yours,
I am who I am (Exodus 3:14)
I am the Lord, your God ( Hosea 13:4)
I am Yaweh, your savior, your redeemer (Isaiah 49:26)
…the Faithful One (Isaiah 49:7)
i published this letter with one goal in my mind, it'sto share with you guys the LOVE and faithfulness of our lord. and the wonder of the bible. God bless! :)
this was made by the priest who preached us. he was really great. he's a priest but he deliver his sermons to us in a pastors way. too bad i forgot his name but got his signature in the letter. R.Mayk ofmeys (this was according to my understanding)PLEASE DO READ THIS LETTER WITH ALL YOUR HEART ^_^
Dear _______your name__ my beloved (Song of Songs 1:9) CHILD,
I love you (John 15:9) I have called you by name, you are mine (Isaiah 43:1). Before I formed you, I know you. And before you were born, I consecrated you (Jeremiah 1:5). You did not choose me, I choose you (John 15:6).
Because you are precious to me and honored, I love you (Isaiah 43:3). I have loved you with an everlasting love, so I continue to show you my constant love (Jeremiah 31:3). How can I abandon you? (Hosea 11:8). My love for you is strong. And I am faithful forever (Psalm 117:2). Can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore? Yes, even should she forget, I will never forget you – I can never forget you. See, I have written your name on the palm of my hand (Isaiah 49: 15-16). I, the Lord your God, am holding you by the right hand. It is I who say to you, fear not, I will help you (Isaiah 41:13)
Do not be afraid, I have redeemed you (Isaiah 43:1). I am with you (Isaiah 43:5). I am with you to save you (Jeremiah 30:11). And be sure of this, I am with you always until the end of time (Matthew 28:20). Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in me (John 14:1). For I know what my plans for you are, plans to save and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and to give you hope (Jeremiah 29:11). When you call on me, I will listen (Jeremiah 29:12). I will help you (Isaiah 41:14). When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you. Your trouble will not overwhelm you. The hard trials that come will not hurt you (Isaiah 43:2). Do not worry (Luke 12:22). Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So there is no need to be afraid of anything (Matthew 10:30-31). The mountains may depart, and the hills will be shaken, but my steadfast love for you will never end (Isaiah 54:10)
Come, my love (Song of Songs 2:10). Come, I will lead you into solitude, and there, I will speak tenderly to your heart (Hosea 2:16). I will be true and faithful. I will show you my constant love, and make you mine forever; we will be united in love and tenderness (Hosea 2:20-21), I have promised and I will do it (Ezekiel 37:14).
Sincerely yours,
I am who I am (Exodus 3:14)
I am the Lord, your God ( Hosea 13:4)
I am Yaweh, your savior, your redeemer (Isaiah 49:26)
…the Faithful One (Isaiah 49:7)
i published this letter with one goal in my mind, it'sto share with you guys the LOVE and faithfulness of our lord. and the wonder of the bible. God bless! :)
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