wohoo! just 4 days away from going back to reality. Ha-ha! :)
but i came to realize that im loving this time away from school and all, though very short...
it has taken me back to my first love. Reading. it's almost a year since i've read a new novel. and it really feels good. going back to the same old habit of picturing in my mind what is happening in the book... and then falling asleep to rest my eyes and then dream about the continuation. Ha-ha! funny me.Ü
i also love the thought that now i am really practicing the craft i love. writing my thoughts thinking of nothing but just to write it. no rules.
and then im able to spend some time alone. completely just by myself, not even opening my mouth to talk because there's no one to talk to, laying under the tree and appreciating nature and the cold summer wind... then listening to my kind of music with no buzzing sounds of anyone. keeping my place spic&span. relaxing. tho im not really doing a thing (thats according to the people outside my own little world), im never bored. and ohh.. i can say I LOVE this LIFE.
but don't get me wrong, cause i know if i am going to live my whole life like this im going to get bored!! Ha-ha! i'm a night person, i can stay alive all night just please don't wake me up tooooo early. i also love to party, dance and get wasted. i love to chat and be around people. it's just that at some point in my life, it feels good to be peaceful. bow. ^_^
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
"Facing it all"
"Being happy is not a choice we make but we can do something to be happy." (041809)
i was looking at this notebook (where i keep my thoughts), when i saw this statement i made a year ago and then i was filled with memories. baad memories... but im now over it, thanks to that realization above. and thats when i feel like i want to write something about this.
as stated, happiness is not merely a choice we make for ourself. it is an uncotrollable emotion brought by certain people, things or happenings in our life. if that is so, then we do not controll our whole life alone...'cause life is not all about ME.
so here's the verdict, when someone dissapoints you, when something makes you angry, when someone broke your heart and something depresses you, you cannot just shift emotions.. let alone ignore the feeling, because its undeniably there. you cannot just sit around, continue your life and just decide that after all you are choosing to be happy and expect that its as simple as that. Because a problem not face is a problem not solved.
so whats my point of saying all this? well, i just want you to realize that it is just a matter of facing the problem... of finally admiting that there's a problem and of actually DOING something and of actually DECIDING that you want to be happy but then first you have to heal yourself...and then maybe..maybe finally be able to feel that somehow after all the trouble, you are happy.
i was looking at this notebook (where i keep my thoughts), when i saw this statement i made a year ago and then i was filled with memories. baad memories... but im now over it, thanks to that realization above. and thats when i feel like i want to write something about this.
as stated, happiness is not merely a choice we make for ourself. it is an uncotrollable emotion brought by certain people, things or happenings in our life. if that is so, then we do not controll our whole life alone...'cause life is not all about ME.
so here's the verdict, when someone dissapoints you, when something makes you angry, when someone broke your heart and something depresses you, you cannot just shift emotions.. let alone ignore the feeling, because its undeniably there. you cannot just sit around, continue your life and just decide that after all you are choosing to be happy and expect that its as simple as that. Because a problem not face is a problem not solved.
so whats my point of saying all this? well, i just want you to realize that it is just a matter of facing the problem... of finally admiting that there's a problem and of actually DOING something and of actually DECIDING that you want to be happy but then first you have to heal yourself...and then maybe..maybe finally be able to feel that somehow after all the trouble, you are happy.
Monday, March 29, 2010
blah.blah.blah. Freedom ;>
it's been 9 months since i made this blog. long enough? HAHA! but i haven't really posted something great. pfft.
well, i made this blog because.. uhm well..i love to write though i am not very good at it. i love to express my thoughts in writing because it's a lot different from just saying out loud my ideas. in writing i can erase and edit my choice of words and it is something permanent that after along time i can still look back.
you know, i'm very imaginative... as how things will go and what can i write about, but everytime i put it in paper i just can't seem to organize my thoughts... so, please bear with me... i'm good at making a statement but i don't know why is that when it comes to making a whole essay, baad.
i still have a mile to run before i master this... but i really love this craft. for now, i just want to practice it here. here in my own little world. ;>
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
RE-THINKING LIFE
i used to often wonder when my life would truly begin. some people would say it begins the day i was born, but that’s not what i am talking about; that’s not the beginning i'm referring to.
it’s a strange moment, the beginning. right now i was in my teen years. and i tell you, its not easy. for me, everything is so short. life is short, a day is short, a year seems short once its over, and the future is'nt even in the picture. i worry about my friends, i worry about tomorrow, i worry about him, i worry about the guy i always ride the tricycle with…and its all part of the moment. my entire existence is concentrated on everything around me and everyone i know; its depressing. every lil hurdle seems a mountain, every lil problem seems too hard to deal with, and all the bad things that happen to me sometimes mark the end of my life worth living, maybe until my true life begins.
well…how do i exist? im living a lil world that seems so huge! everythings happening around me is huge. now in a month i’ll be over with my firstyear..but until now, my life has no direction. im stil not sure if im going to finish this course.
now all im thinking of is a that i want a career and how much money im goin’ to make but i really cant decide which is which…im thinking so much about my future but i never knew the future.i have no idea what lies ahead of me.
so…how should i finish this? i’ve once read in a book that you should stop writing when there’s nothing left to say, but i think i’ve got one more thing. i suggest that you make your present first before you can have you future. dont be like me. too futuristic to even settle down with the present. too confused.
"THIS WAS MY BLOG A YEAR A GO. :) -18FEB09-"
it’s a strange moment, the beginning. right now i was in my teen years. and i tell you, its not easy. for me, everything is so short. life is short, a day is short, a year seems short once its over, and the future is'nt even in the picture. i worry about my friends, i worry about tomorrow, i worry about him, i worry about the guy i always ride the tricycle with…and its all part of the moment. my entire existence is concentrated on everything around me and everyone i know; its depressing. every lil hurdle seems a mountain, every lil problem seems too hard to deal with, and all the bad things that happen to me sometimes mark the end of my life worth living, maybe until my true life begins.
well…how do i exist? im living a lil world that seems so huge! everythings happening around me is huge. now in a month i’ll be over with my firstyear..but until now, my life has no direction. im stil not sure if im going to finish this course.
now all im thinking of is a that i want a career and how much money im goin’ to make but i really cant decide which is which…im thinking so much about my future but i never knew the future.i have no idea what lies ahead of me.
so…how should i finish this? i’ve once read in a book that you should stop writing when there’s nothing left to say, but i think i’ve got one more thing. i suggest that you make your present first before you can have you future. dont be like me. too futuristic to even settle down with the present. too confused.
"THIS WAS MY BLOG A YEAR A GO. :) -18FEB09-"
God is Good =)
i had the worst feeling this morning..im in the bus already on the way to makati for my last day of training and examination for the certification of my AMADEUS..then because its too early, i slept for a while then i woke up just in time for the conductor to give the ticket. so i look for my wallet...i can't see it, i remove all my things from my bag..still i can't see it.damn! the conductor is coming..oh shoot! i forgot all my money!! i feel like crying..i really dont know what to do and im in the middle of teh express way! gaddamnit! and i don't have any single cent!! but still as the conductor went near me i continue to look for my wallet, im desperate! and i can't do anything...no one can help me.. T.T so i praay HARD. real hard. and what a miracle, the conductor by pass me..he didn't even ask for my payment..
but im still too far from my destination..so i continue praying that he won't come back to ask me for my payment..and yes, it did happen. whew! God help me. im so sure of it. in return i just pray for the conductor that today may be his lucky day for helping me out. :)
after unloading the bus, im still a kilometer away from LKG tower,. buti n lng msipag ako mglakad. =) i arrive just in time for my class.
kht my misfortune, di nmn NYA ko pinabayaan. so ok pa rin. and now by 1230, ill be taking my exam. God bless me!:)
[mace]
but im still too far from my destination..so i continue praying that he won't come back to ask me for my payment..and yes, it did happen. whew! God help me. im so sure of it. in return i just pray for the conductor that today may be his lucky day for helping me out. :)
after unloading the bus, im still a kilometer away from LKG tower,. buti n lng msipag ako mglakad. =) i arrive just in time for my class.
kht my misfortune, di nmn NYA ko pinabayaan. so ok pa rin. and now by 1230, ill be taking my exam. God bless me!:)
[mace]
Saturday, March 6, 2010
SMILE, friends ;)
i just feel like writing today. months has pass since my last entry.. and i decided to write with that ^ title coz since the start of the year, my day won't end without me smiling heartfully. im just loving my life so much. :))
my desire to make the people around me smile has taken hold of my life. it really feels good when you know you make someones' day a little better. i like being the person my friends know that is just always around in the corner..in time for their trouble, someone they can depend on...and i bet this has always been one of my purpose in life.
with confidence i must say, i am everybodies friend..and tho as the saying says, 'a person who has everybody as a friend has nobody as a true friend.' it does not work for me. cause i maybe everybodies friend but then at the end of the day i always find my way home with the true friends in my life..and then i see them waiting for me, with a big hug..aww..
i got tons of laughter a day and its all because of them. i love them. i treasure them. and so when you find those friends you can keep, take care of them for the rest of your life. it's hard to find someone who can make you smile, laugh and cry..and gets mad at you then hug you and accepts everything about you...
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this writing is somewhat random.i just type what comes into my mind and what i feel now.and thats whats in my heart at this time. HAHAHHAHAHHA! funny. bye :)
my desire to make the people around me smile has taken hold of my life. it really feels good when you know you make someones' day a little better. i like being the person my friends know that is just always around in the corner..in time for their trouble, someone they can depend on...and i bet this has always been one of my purpose in life.
with confidence i must say, i am everybodies friend..and tho as the saying says, 'a person who has everybody as a friend has nobody as a true friend.' it does not work for me. cause i maybe everybodies friend but then at the end of the day i always find my way home with the true friends in my life..and then i see them waiting for me, with a big hug..aww..
i got tons of laughter a day and its all because of them. i love them. i treasure them. and so when you find those friends you can keep, take care of them for the rest of your life. it's hard to find someone who can make you smile, laugh and cry..and gets mad at you then hug you and accepts everything about you...
------
this writing is somewhat random.i just type what comes into my mind and what i feel now.and thats whats in my heart at this time. HAHAHHAHAHHA! funny. bye :)
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