"It may seem like i don't have anything, but believe me when i say, i have everything i want and need."
I am past the stage where i get my personal fulfillment in buying new things and gadgets. I am finally in that stage of life where i whole heartedly enjoy simple things, and that my only capricho is to travel and learn new things. And finally I already know how to determine an asset versus liability. It may look like i am living a very simple life, because I am. And I've never been this contented. Everyday just feels like a blessed day, maybe this is what wanting less and getting more means. I am finally free of insecurities and jealousy. I finally don't care what other people have that i don't. Because now, i know what really matters. Living the good life is not being able to get everything you want in life, living a good life means giving out everything you have to life, to live.
I hope one day, i will feel and experience everything that i have said in the previous stanza. I know what i have to feel, but now, i am about to start my journey to finding that heart. And i hope, Mace will get better soon. But for now Cee is signing on. Hello world!! :)
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Monday, December 20, 2010
little love and a lot of PEACE.
finally nagawa ko din. i made peace with somebody.
somebody who used to be very especial. lahat ng tanong sa utak ko nasagot na. i never imagine the result to be this way. stupidity na kung stupidity yung ginawa ko pero kasi ang tagal ko ng iniisip kung ggwin ko ba o hindi, until knina hnd sinsadyang nakita kong OL sya, at ayun na. piniem ko n lang sya bigla.
and the results was great. atlis ngaun diba kahit my regrets p din, eh okay lang. kasi wla ng tanong. okay na. at naging conclusion nmin prehas? siguro we’re not really for each other. kasi everytime na mgiging close kme, fate makes a way na maghiwlay din kme e. after ng maraming trials tlga hindi kme “PERFECT MATCH”.. eto na din siguro ang nagagawa ng spirit of christmass. :)
atlis now, okay n kme. masya sa lovelife nya. ako nmn kahit single, eh masaya din nmn. hindi pa ulit tumitibok ng bongga yung puso ko tulad ng dati pero i’ll just see and wait for 2011. anu nanaman kayang exciting na mga bagay ang mraranasan ko? sinung mga bagong tao ang makilala ko?:)
somebody who used to be very especial. lahat ng tanong sa utak ko nasagot na. i never imagine the result to be this way. stupidity na kung stupidity yung ginawa ko pero kasi ang tagal ko ng iniisip kung ggwin ko ba o hindi, until knina hnd sinsadyang nakita kong OL sya, at ayun na. piniem ko n lang sya bigla.
and the results was great. atlis ngaun diba kahit my regrets p din, eh okay lang. kasi wla ng tanong. okay na. at naging conclusion nmin prehas? siguro we’re not really for each other. kasi everytime na mgiging close kme, fate makes a way na maghiwlay din kme e. after ng maraming trials tlga hindi kme “PERFECT MATCH”.. eto na din siguro ang nagagawa ng spirit of christmass. :)
atlis now, okay n kme. masya sa lovelife nya. ako nmn kahit single, eh masaya din nmn. hindi pa ulit tumitibok ng bongga yung puso ko tulad ng dati pero i’ll just see and wait for 2011. anu nanaman kayang exciting na mga bagay ang mraranasan ko? sinung mga bagong tao ang makilala ko?:)
Saturday, November 6, 2010
love.pagmamahal.amor.
when you love a person, you are willing to give the person more than you could. when it comes to him/her, your patience is undeniably looong. you can forgive all his/her shortcomings, mistakes and you accept him/her as a whole. ‘cause they say, when you love someone, you are already loving the whole package. with all the good and the baaaaad stufffs!!!
kaya sobrang nauunawaan naman na kahit na alam mo na lahat ng kalokohan n’yang taong sinasabi mong mahal mo, eh pinapatawad mo pa din s’ya ng paulit-ulit. naiintindihan ko yun. kahit na napapahiya na lang din ako na sinabi ko pa sa’yo yung kasalanan n’ya e sayo pala wala din dating yun. haha. ang funny lang. okay lng naman kasi talaga kasi kaibigan lang namn ako, nakasuporta kung san ka masaya. and its genuine y’know? pero syempre kaibigan mo pa din ako, di maalis na protective ako sa’yo. pero i make sure nmn n sakto lang. kasi at the end, it still you life. YOURS ALONE. ampangit lang minsan (kahit alam kong di mo sinasadya) napapalabas mo na kontrabida na lang ako sa buhay niong nagmamahalan. tsk. pero sige naintidihan ko pa din.
pahabaan na lang ng pasensyaaa. no? pero sa palagay ko talo ko pagdating sa bagay na yaaan. wwwowoooo.
this is a late night-slash-early dawn drama. hoho.
GOODNIGHT everyone. 2;54 am!
kaya sobrang nauunawaan naman na kahit na alam mo na lahat ng kalokohan n’yang taong sinasabi mong mahal mo, eh pinapatawad mo pa din s’ya ng paulit-ulit. naiintindihan ko yun. kahit na napapahiya na lang din ako na sinabi ko pa sa’yo yung kasalanan n’ya e sayo pala wala din dating yun. haha. ang funny lang. okay lng naman kasi talaga kasi kaibigan lang namn ako, nakasuporta kung san ka masaya. and its genuine y’know? pero syempre kaibigan mo pa din ako, di maalis na protective ako sa’yo. pero i make sure nmn n sakto lang. kasi at the end, it still you life. YOURS ALONE. ampangit lang minsan (kahit alam kong di mo sinasadya) napapalabas mo na kontrabida na lang ako sa buhay niong nagmamahalan. tsk. pero sige naintidihan ko pa din.
pahabaan na lang ng pasensyaaa. no? pero sa palagay ko talo ko pagdating sa bagay na yaaan. wwwowoooo.
this is a late night-slash-early dawn drama. hoho.
GOODNIGHT everyone. 2;54 am!
ten pesos!
Life is not really fair.
I was watching “the correspondents” final episode last-last week. The episode was about all the people that had a huge change in their life ever since “the correspondence” featured their life story. It doesn’t caught much of my attention until it featured the story of “araal kids”… and then suddenly my tears fell. The story was about these kids up there in the mountain aging 6-10 years old, that instead of going to school was forced to work in those mining fields. Gather all the araal stones they can and bring them down in the mountains, under the heat of the sun, and with bare feet, just for ten pesos a day. And they have to do go up and down there for 6-8 times before having that ten pesos! Damn!
Their parents don’t like what’s happening but they don’t have the choice. It’s a matter of going through every day with something to eat. Good thing the show have already changed their lives, now those children are going to school.
But I had a big realization with that. I know life is hard. It’s always is. And whatever I, or we do… it will always be unfair. See, the ten pesos that we’re just wasting for nonsense things, for them… it’s an amount to keep them alive. And we are all here in front of the pc, having the time of lives for all the good things, spending our energy and money with vices… what a shame.
I know after writing this thoughts, still, I can’t promise to entirely change my whole life. But after writing this, I know I’ll value my life more. I’ll try to lessen all those “fvcking self pity moments” I occasionally had. I’ll be more and always be thankful that I had this kind of life. It’s far from perfection, but I never had to work that hard to get through my every day food. #
I was watching “the correspondents” final episode last-last week. The episode was about all the people that had a huge change in their life ever since “the correspondence” featured their life story. It doesn’t caught much of my attention until it featured the story of “araal kids”… and then suddenly my tears fell. The story was about these kids up there in the mountain aging 6-10 years old, that instead of going to school was forced to work in those mining fields. Gather all the araal stones they can and bring them down in the mountains, under the heat of the sun, and with bare feet, just for ten pesos a day. And they have to do go up and down there for 6-8 times before having that ten pesos! Damn!
Their parents don’t like what’s happening but they don’t have the choice. It’s a matter of going through every day with something to eat. Good thing the show have already changed their lives, now those children are going to school.
But I had a big realization with that. I know life is hard. It’s always is. And whatever I, or we do… it will always be unfair. See, the ten pesos that we’re just wasting for nonsense things, for them… it’s an amount to keep them alive. And we are all here in front of the pc, having the time of lives for all the good things, spending our energy and money with vices… what a shame.
I know after writing this thoughts, still, I can’t promise to entirely change my whole life. But after writing this, I know I’ll value my life more. I’ll try to lessen all those “fvcking self pity moments” I occasionally had. I’ll be more and always be thankful that I had this kind of life. It’s far from perfection, but I never had to work that hard to get through my every day food. #
SINGLEHOOD
“SINGLE isn’t a status. It’s a word describing a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.”
I had a blog months ago, about singlehood, about a choice to stay single until I finish college. And during those moments in my life, I was so sure that’s what I wanted. You can’t blame me, I was enjoying every second of my life with all my single friends, and I’m having the time of my life. And I think that having a boyfriends isn’t suited for the kind of lifestyle I have. There are few guys whose trying to cling in my fast phased life and I appreciate them but there still weren’t enough reasons to enter into a relationship until recently I felt being left out.
My environment slowly changes, all my “single” friends suddenly found their match. And I swear, I understand them but pathetic as it sounds, I suddenly feel pressured with finding MY match, a partner, someone whom I can have sweet talks and do all those mushy stuffs.
But how about my “self-deal”? And the feeling was rush. It was like, all of a sudden I wanted to give someone a chance in my life, that out of the blue I wanted to be in love. But how I wish it was just that simple. But it isn’t, right?
I can’t suddenly be in love after just deciding that that’s the emotion I wanted to feel. It’s not like that, it will never be “just like that”. Good thing I wasn’t really the “decision-maker” type. So I’ve given the feeling a thought. I’ve talked to a friend and now it’s all clear.
And here’s my realization, It’s all pressure. That after all I still want to stay single, that I don’t need someone to be happier. That if ever I had jump into a relationship, it will never be genuine. That even all my friends have their someone, they won’t leave me behind. That I am happy with myself and that someday someone out there will make me believe in love again without me knowing it beforehand. That my destiny is just waiting to be unfold. And that now my fate is to finish my studies. #
Ps. But that doesn’t stop me from posting pictures, blogs, videos about love. Okay?:)))
I had a blog months ago, about singlehood, about a choice to stay single until I finish college. And during those moments in my life, I was so sure that’s what I wanted. You can’t blame me, I was enjoying every second of my life with all my single friends, and I’m having the time of my life. And I think that having a boyfriends isn’t suited for the kind of lifestyle I have. There are few guys whose trying to cling in my fast phased life and I appreciate them but there still weren’t enough reasons to enter into a relationship until recently I felt being left out.
My environment slowly changes, all my “single” friends suddenly found their match. And I swear, I understand them but pathetic as it sounds, I suddenly feel pressured with finding MY match, a partner, someone whom I can have sweet talks and do all those mushy stuffs.
But how about my “self-deal”? And the feeling was rush. It was like, all of a sudden I wanted to give someone a chance in my life, that out of the blue I wanted to be in love. But how I wish it was just that simple. But it isn’t, right?
I can’t suddenly be in love after just deciding that that’s the emotion I wanted to feel. It’s not like that, it will never be “just like that”. Good thing I wasn’t really the “decision-maker” type. So I’ve given the feeling a thought. I’ve talked to a friend and now it’s all clear.
And here’s my realization, It’s all pressure. That after all I still want to stay single, that I don’t need someone to be happier. That if ever I had jump into a relationship, it will never be genuine. That even all my friends have their someone, they won’t leave me behind. That I am happy with myself and that someday someone out there will make me believe in love again without me knowing it beforehand. That my destiny is just waiting to be unfold. And that now my fate is to finish my studies. #
Ps. But that doesn’t stop me from posting pictures, blogs, videos about love. Okay?:)))
...
I love people. It makes me feel good to be around them. I love to make friends .. and for my 18 years of existence I think I’ve earned a lot to last till my next life time. It may sounds exaggerated but believe me or not, it’s the truth. I’m writing this down not to brag about that but to explain that I may be everybody's friend but I can’t and never will be a ‘good’ friend to everyone. It’s my personality to try to be good to every stranger but I also have the tendency to be at my best and show my worst only to a few great friends I have. Oh, see? I used the term great ‘cause I may call everyone my “best” friend, but I think I can never measure who among them is the good, better or best for me ‘cause everyone is great in their own way. And every friendship I have is different from the other, no one among my friendships will be the same. Because for every friendship, I put a different effort, a different thought, a special feelings, and both of us make memories different to others.
Oh, how I love to make those few great friends smile, feel loved and treasured. <3
And how I hate the feeling deep inside that there are some people whom I have unintentionally taken for granted, and that’s what I’m talking about on how I can never give my best part to every friendship I have. I am sorry. The main reason for making this blog.
If I can only give a piece of me to everyone. If only, I’d gladly do so. I made this public, yeah. But really, this is not intended for them to read. #
Oh, how I love to make those few great friends smile, feel loved and treasured. <3
And how I hate the feeling deep inside that there are some people whom I have unintentionally taken for granted, and that’s what I’m talking about on how I can never give my best part to every friendship I have. I am sorry. The main reason for making this blog.
If I can only give a piece of me to everyone. If only, I’d gladly do so. I made this public, yeah. But really, this is not intended for them to read. #
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
and for the longest time since we fall apart, this is gonna be the first time, i will bravely admit in public that i do, miss this guy.
he is my best-guy-friend ever. as in a friend. just a very close friend with no malice and i don’t know if i’ll ever have a friendship with an opposite sex, this close, again. he is so much like a brother to me. someone i can be with all day and all night and still have so much to talk about. and still we would have long conversations thru texts… we can do and talk about silly things and never get offended. we play, go out together, drink together, we argue a lot, but we have accepted everything about each other, we’re there for each other through our greatest down fall and during the best moments in each others life…until the day both of us got tired.
im can’t blame him for everything i got through, for the way we ended up ‘cause i know i also did a lot for us to be like this. No more text, long talks, plays and all..it’s as if we never had the “best” friendship moments in the past. how sad it was right? He’s at fault, im at fault. We’re both at fault. and i guess we have not given our best in making things right between us…sigh.
And i think, maybe , just maybe this is the way some things end. :(
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